Relationships come in different flavors - we have work friends, friends that we share hobbies with, and out of some of those friendships we grow tighter bonds and find people that we can turn to and share deeper thoughts and feelings with. We all need someone to get things off our chest with, but it seems like those kinds of friendships are becoming much harder to find.
Maybe I am wrong, but I notice that people are just not as invested in relationships anymore - both friendships and in the case of love and dating. Everyone is so pressed for time that relationships of any sort seem to be taking a backseat. Me personally, I like to evaluate my relationships from time to time and evaluate what I am giving and receiving to know if it's worth continuing.
Sadly, more often than not the people I think I have a friendship or relationship with just don't seem to be making the effort. It can be hard to admit, but sometimes the signs are there that you are just not that important to someone. Here are 5 things I have noticed that tell me it's a friendship (or love relationship) that needs to end.
Everyone talks about news and gossip, but when it's a real friend or significant other things should get deep from time to time. This sharing of deeper thoughts is what helps cement friendships and allows us to forms bonds with someone. But then there are the people who only want to talk work, or about the upcoming party and never anything more. If you are an adult you should expect more from those you spend your time with.
Ever have a convo with someone and later they didn't remember it? It could be Alzheimer's or maybe they were not even paying attention. If someone is often forgetting promises or conversations it means that they just were not that invested in the conversation to begin with. Move on.
Canceling, Refusing to Make, or Forgetting Plans
There is nothing better than looking forward to a weekend with your significant other, or with friends exploring some new place. But then you get the 'friends' who refuse to make plans with responses like "uh, let me see what I am doing and I'll text you". That just means that they are keeping their options open for something better than hanging with you. Take the hint and drop the friend.
Likewise, I am sure we have all had the friend who forgot plans that were made or cancelled at the last minute. Sure things pop up last minute but this shouldn't happen all the time. That just means they found something better to do than hang out with you.
When dating, I have come across my share of women who just can't seem to find the time for me. Sad right? What's the point? Refusing to make plans with me, then later making other plans elsewhere with friends or family. Doesn't exactly make you feel wanted and I learned to take the hint - if they can't commit to a plan then they are just not interested.
They Leave You Out of the Big Stuff
Maybe your invitation was lost in the mail, or maybe you were just not invited. Weddings, birthdays, family dinners are the kinds of things you want to invite your loved ones to. If you are not getting these kinds of invites and instead seeing/witnessing them from the outside on social media then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship with that person. Chances are you are just a passing acquaintance or fill some niche need to the person, but they don't see you as a friend or significance.
There is No Physical Touch
Friends high five and give each other hugs. Lovers kiss and hold hands. Sure, there are boundaries and you want to avoid a visit to HR but it's human to exchange some sort of physical touch with those we care about. I have received a hug from managers, and pats on the shoulders from male coworkers as a bro way of giving a hug.
We all need physical touch and even though not all of us are the touchy feely type, i'll bet money every single person reading this feels good after a hug from a friend or a small kiss from their significant other. Take away that intimacy and bond and what do you have? A stranger or passing acquaintance.
It can be hard to admit, but look at your friendships and love relationships and decide if you mean as much to them as as they mean to you. If things don't seem equal consider moving on.
Jeremy Wright is a self described opinionated bastard. Follow him on Facebook.