We are not saying you do something like this if you win the Powerball, but money makes some people do strange things.
According to the Valley Report, a 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth over $3 million dollars on Friday night, but decided to show up to work anyway on Monday to to deliver a special surprise to her boss.
The company she worked for had no idea that she had won the money. “I knew something was wrong because I came back from lunch and the door to my office was closed,” said the manager. I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”
“It was worth it,” the woman said when she was being arrested. “On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s shit for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”