5 Signs That Your Significant Other is Hiding Something
Relationships are a lot of work, but the work is worth it when you find someone that makes you feel good and even makes you think about settling down or starting a family. But for that to happen, you have to be 100% confident that all the cards are being laid on the table and there isn't any skeletons in the closet being hidden.
Sure, we all have things from our past that we care to forget, but the kind of skeletons I am talking about are unresolved relationships. A lot of times, people move on too quickly - before the dust has settled from a previous relationship. What that means is that they are not 100% invested in the relationship with you, and because of this it's never going to work. Worst case scenario you waste time, or worse yet find that they cheat on you with that ex.
Luckily, it's pretty easy to spot some tell tale signs that your significant other is hiding something - like an ex. I have been in enough relationships to know when I am being played and get out before it hurts too bad. Here are some common things I have noticed that told me something was not right.
Can Only Talk or Text at Specific Times
Sadly, I have been though this more times than I care to remember. Most of us are pretty busy, and if you have kids it's even worse. This makes it understandable when someone says they are busy. But when a person can only talk or text at odd times you should take notice. Building a relationship takes communication and if they are rarely available how can things go anywhere?
Best case scenario, people like this are just too busy to be in a relationship and you'd be wasting your time trying. In worst case scenarios, you'll find that someone can only talk late at night - sometimes even speaking in a near whisper as if someone is in another room - because they are with someone else. They quickly send you to voicemail or don't reply to your texts for long periods and leave you hanging. Smartest thing you can do is take the hint and move on.
Always Busy or Frequently Changing Plans
If they make an effort to reply to your texts and phone calls, things still might be a little sketchy if you find that they don't make time for you. Things like date nights and quality time together. Quite often though, they find time for everyone else. Hanging with the guys/girls after work, bonfires at a friends house, etc. but you never get an invite even though you rarely get a chance to see them.
At the same time, they will cancel plans they made with you to do other things. Or be non-committal in making plans so that their schedule is open. I've been in the situation where a girlfriend claimed to be going out with a couple friends only to be "dragged into" stopping for dinner and surprise - a guy she use to have a crush on was at the same restaurant! 50 miles from home and the dude you use to like is at the same restaurant, what a coincidence. No wonder I didn't get invited.
Social Media Information Is Hidden
When you're in a relationship, part of building a connection is sharing information. It can take time to build that trust level but some basic things should be an open book. Things like who your friends are. That's why when I have been in the situation where a girlfriend was hiding things on her social media I became suspicious.
This is most common on sites like Facebook where you have the option of hiding your friends list so that others cannot see it. Keeping the list hidden from strangers by making your profile private makes sense, but from other friends? This is suspicious and most likely means that there is someone on the friends list that your significant other doesn't want you to know about. It could be someone they had feelings for, or someone they are keeping on the back burner if things don't work out with you.
Sleeps With Their Phone
I had an ex who when she slept over, hid her phone under her pillow before bed. Sure, early on we had those arguments about who are you texting? and those sorts of things. It seemed like we had been together long enough that those sort of insecurities should have passed. I even left my phone in the room with her when I left, or on the nightstand charger just to show that hey, I have nothing to hide.
For her, that never happened. Her cell phone was always closely guarded and never left her side. If we went to bed, she placed it under her pillow (charger attached) even though there was a table right next to her side of the bed. If I was at her house she never left her phone laying around, instead it followed her everywhere. I would like to believe that there was nothing to worry about, but it seemed to me that there was something being hidden.
Hides the Computer Screen
I lived with a woman for a short while who would casually change her sitting position when I walked by. You see as soon as she got home from work, she would say her pleasantries to me then quickly hop on the computer to "check email". Considering that she checked her phone all day I couldn't imagine what she could have missed, but didn't think much of it.
That was until I noticed one day when I stood up, she shifted on the couch so that I couldn't see her screen. When I came back she was in another position so that I still couldn't see the screen coming back into the room. I made a mental note of this and saw the behavior going on whenever I would be in position to see what was on her screen.
After a week or so, I took a look at her computer. Now I don't recommend you go snooping on someones computer, it is probably better to just flat out ask. For whatever reason, I looked. What I found was daily convos with an ex, and the convos didn't make it sound like he was an ex. Turns out he had lived there not long before I moved in and things ended abruptly. I guess I was just a rebound. I didn't tell her what I knew or saw, but did make quick plans to move out ASAP.