• Mr. Right

What is the Right Age to Get Married?


I received an email recently that posed the question "What age should I get married?" The writer is thinking of asking his girlfriend to marry him, but had some reservations due to his age (22). Now that's a tough question and really to try answer it broadly I would say there is no perfect age. The right age is what feels right. IF you think you have met "the one" then by all means pop the question. But I would say keep a few things in mind.


I know that I wasn't ready to get married at 20 years old because there were things I wanted to see and do. On the other hand, I know deeply religious people who were married very young. It works for them because they have a strong enough faith to withstand the rigors of marriage, believing that above all else we have made the commitment to marriage. Most people, especially non religious ones, don't have that mentality that we will work through anything. I'm not saying that Faith alone prevents divorce, but I think it does ensure you have more of a basis to work from before saying yes.


I would ask how long have you been together? Everything feels great when you first start off - but do you really know one another? Have you talked politics, child raising (if you want them), even things like how clean to keep the house can raise problems in a relationship later and those are things you want to discuss before making a big commitment.


It's nice to believe that the one you marry will want to share in your journey as you explore the world - but what if she has family ties and can't ever imagine living anywhere but her home town, close to her parents or siblings? Once I hit 30, I felt that I had seen enough of what I wanted to see to consider 'settling down'. That doesn't mean that you're in a rush to get married, it just means you know more about who you are, what you want, and where you want to go. Enough at least to say that this will work because we have common goals.


If I had a son, I would say think twice about getting married before 25 years old. I think that's when man hood is starting. College or trade school is finished, you have started on a career (even if it changes many times), and know enough about yourself to recognize if the one you are considering as a life partner matches up well enough. Sure it's rare to find a perfect fit, but I do believe that marriage should be a one time only thing. I also think that the divorce rate is so high because too many people mistake sex and the good feeling early in a relationship for 'love'.


So I am sorry if I didn't give you a definitive answer, but there isn't one. Take a deep look at yourself and what your dreams are and decide if she fits into the plan. Also make sure that you are 100% behind what she wants to do with her life. If either of you can't say yes to that question after having a good long talk about the fundamental basics of a marriage, just say no.


Jeremy Wright is a self-described opinionated bastard. Follow him on Facebook.

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