Recognizing Emotional Vampires
It took me a long time, but I eventually noticed a particular commonality in many of the people I associated with - they drained me of my energy. As I became aware of the demands they placed on me I gave them a name: Psychic Vampires.
Now I can't take credit for the name since it's been used before. Sometimes referred to as energy vampires, even PhD researchers have identified the phenomena. So what exactly is a psychic vampire? It's the people in your life who drain, steal, and suck dry your mental, emotional, and physical energy. And they are all around us. From that researcher:
Let's face it—we've probably all fallen prey to a psychic vampire, possibly without even knowing it. It may have been a chance encounter with an energy predator that left us temporarily exhausted, or possibly along-term vampire interaction with serious wear-and-tear effects on the mind and body. Psychic vampirism is alive and flourishing in the world today. As consumers of energy rather than blood, vampires of the psychic kind exist in many guises but with one common trait—their own inadequate energy system compels them to tap into and feed upon the energies of unsuspecting host victims. The immediate results of such a one-on-one vampire encounter are anew but temporary surge of energy for the psychic vampire and a serious loss of mental and physical energy for the unsuspecting prey.
If you suddenly feel emotionally or mentally depleted, you may be under attack by a psychic vampire. The unfortunate effects of prolonged energy loss are damage to the energy system itself and in some instances, serious illness.
We have all known someone like this. Sometimes it's a friend, other times its a family member. It might be co-worker that vents all their problems to you. It could even be your significant other. They call you because they need a shoulder to cry on....a savior from their personal crisis.
The problem is that many of these catastrophic events in their existence are relatively mild in the grand scope of things. They just do not possess the mental fortitude to face the challenge in front of them. They tend to be the fragile type and are always in need of rescue. On top of this they possess a sense of martyrdom, claiming to be the victim of horrible misfortune saying things like "people just always take advantage of me ! Now I need help!"
But they are the ones that take advantage of others. you see, they are like a parasite seeking out a host. a leech looking for a body to feed on, or a vampire seeking blood. They sense the weakness in others are are drawn to their next host. Don't be that host. Learn to identify these people and cut them out of your life.
Like I said, I learned this the hard way. I was always the guy who people turned to in crisis. Maybe I come across as a rock, or maybe I was just a sucker. Either way I became an emotional punching bag for the people around me. When someone needed to borrow money they asked me. I didn't usually get it back. If you needed a shoulder to cry on, I was the good friend who put his own plans on hold to be there.
I began to notice that I had suffered for it. I didn't do things I wanted to, didn't pursue hobbies and dreams, found myself tired in the morning because I spent the previous night listening to them cry. In every instance I can think of, later I was forgotten. Once the vampire had drained me they moved on to the next victim. "Friends" found new friends and stopped calling when I refused to be the punching bags for their problems.
Amazingly, once I grew a pair, I made progress in my own life.
Take a moment to look at yourself. Do you find that your energy is waning? Do you feel anxiety or a general negativity around a certain person? They are probably your psychic vampire. For your own health you must eliminate them from your life. That's a tough thing to do, I know. Moving on from a toxic relationship, or any relationship feels like tearing off a limb.
But sometimes, you need to cut off the limb to save the rest of the body.