I hear plenty of guys complaining that they can't find a girlfriend, or saying things like "all the good ones are taken". That's just not true. There are as many singles as there are committed people, you just have to wade through the waters to find that match. The problem is that too many guys are thirsty - desperate to find love or sex and willing to take anything they can get. And the thirsty guys are easy to spot which is why women write them off and avoid them. The signs are always there, and here are five easy ways to spot a thirsty guy. If any of the things on this list describe you - then you just might be thirsty and should re-evaluate your dating strategy.
Not Being Confident
Confidence has become a real issue to the modern male. With feminism on the rise, and the fear of casual conversation being labeled as harassment, many men have admitted they are afraid to even approach women anymore. Recently, Charlize Theron made headlines when she begged for men to ‘Grow A Pair And Step Up’. It seems that the hot MILF never gets approached by men and has been single for ten years. What that means is there are plenty of attractive, single women out there waiting for you to say hello. But the non confident guy talks himself out of approaching women with internal dialogue like "I'm not her type" without ever even talking to a woman, or even knowing enough about her to know if there is a mutual interest.
Every single relationship or marriage started with a conversation, so it's obvious that you should master the skill of conversation if you ever want to have sex. But confidence is not about approaching someone and giving them a resume about your net worth, it's about finding a topic that is a mutual interest and turning it into something more. On the flip side, over confidence, or what I would call false confidence, is what the Beta or Thirsty man relies on. He throws darts on a board and approaches women indiscriminately, hoping someone takes the bait. Confidence is internal, a casual demeanor that says "I know who I am" and flows naturally. People notice you not because of your expensive clothes or outward displays of wealth, but because you can carry a meaningful conversation that makes them want to know more about you.
Trying to be Mr. Perfect
A buddy of mine was telling me about a recent Tinder date he went on. The girl showed up and weighed 60 pounds more than her profile pics. When they got to the restaurant, she ordered the most expensive appetizer on the menu. Then she ordered the steak and a side salad - at an extra charge. Then when the waitress asked about desert, she ordered that as well. The bill came and she looked away as he paid for it and watched a day of pay go out of his pocket for a girl he is never going to see again.
Why did he do it? Why didn't he just regroup and admit that she didn't look like the women he thought he was meeting and call off the date? Because he is a nice guy who lacked the confidence to to stand up for himself. Instead he kept trying to be Mr. Perfect, the guy who will accept her and all her flaws. She was just looking for a free meal. That's the problem with the desperate thirsty guy. They will take anything they can get in the quest for sex or a relationship. Paying for everything, being afraid to say something offensive, walking on egg shells while trying to mold themselves into what a woman wants rather than being themselves and just waiting for the right girl that clicks.
Obsessing Over One Girl
You see a cute girl in the office. She is your type. Maybe she even smiles at you once or twice when you walk by. That could be an invitation to start a conversation, but Mr. Thirsty doesn't have the confidence for that. No, what Mr. Thirsty does is just stare...from a distance...over and over until he becomes the joke of the office. Instead of ever starting a meaningful conversation and getting to know the girl a little bit to determine the level of mutual interest, he builds a fantasy world where he imagines them together. That's downright creepy.
I'll hear guys say things like (girls will say things like this as well) "I bet she is a good cook" or " she would be great in bed". Really? How do you know that? So the thirsty guy will obsess over ONE woman, his imaginary perfect 10, waiting for that ideal moment to make his approach, that moment when he will be inspired to say the single thing that will get her attention - and it never comes. The worst case scenario of obsessing over someone is being arrested on charges of stalking. And it's a very real possibility when you just sit back and watch like some creeper. Keep your options open guys, you don't want to miss out on Miss Right while spending you time fixated on Miss "I'm Too Afraid to Approach Her".
Operating Through Social Media
The absolute worst thing about thirsty guys is their love of social media. They like absolutely everything a girl posts to social media, littering her pics with hearts and emojis. They have a friends list of women from around the world that they have never met - and who are probably not even women in real life. The thirsty guys will follow you and comment things like "looking good beautiful" or "wow, wish I was with you" to every selfie they see on a girls feed thinking some how they will earn her attention and get a reply to their DM's that they send on the regular with no response.
I was recently talking to one of my female friends and she told me that she gets several messages a day from guys of all ages, from around the world. And most are sexually charged. That would be ok if it was someone you were actually seeing, but these are complete strangers. The thing is a lot of women are posting bikini pics and bra shots because they are just as thirsty - for attention. They love the likes and comments but know that no one who actually gives that attention is ever going to get their time. So your just feeding a monster, one that you are never going to tame or catch. Be frugal in you likes fellas, save them for things that have meaning.
The thirsty guy doesn't have time for conversation. He needs to know if you're interested RIGHT now because if you aren't, then he has ten more women he needs to hit up for sex asap. So the thirsty guy goes from 0-60 in 3 seconds flat : like, comment, DM, dick pick. The thing is, women hate (random) dick picks. Sure, she might be a bit freaky and be down for some dirty pic exchanges later, after she has shown her interest - but not from random strangers. The best advice I can give is to wait until she initiates the exchange with a little naughtiness of her own before sending anything below the belt. Approach the topic by asking if she has anything 'more revealing'. If she is ready to go down the naked selfie route she will let you know. Or ask if she wants to see some other pics and suggest something provocative. The quickest way to fall into the "doesn't stand a chance" zone is by sending unsolicited dick pics. You will not even make it to the friend zone.
Jeremy Wright is a self described opinionated bastard. Follow him on Facebook.