The Best Question to Ask on a First Date

February 6, 2019

 

On a first date, you're goal should be to get to know the other person and see if there is a mutual fit. So it makes sense to ask questions that help to reveal the other persons thoughts and dreams. Now is probably not a good time to talk about politics, so what are some good first date questions? 

 

One question that I always ask is “when you were little, what did you wanna be when you grow up?” I have asked this question for years – so I would like to think it's my idea, but who knows. It’s a good question that reveals a lot of information about a persons inner workings so let me explain why. 

 

Let's say you asked me the same question back - how would I answer? When I was very little say 5-7 years of age, I wanted to be a firefighter. It's something that many years later I tried to achieve and things didn't work out, but if you know me well then you know how much that answer reveals about me. I am protective of those I love, and admittedly have always had a desire to be a hero of some sort - standing up when I thought something was wrong. My protective nature is pretty obviously revealed by my answer to the question. 

 

As I got older, I changed a bit and at various times I considered other career options: a scientist or astronomer because I was fascinated by the universe as something that is infinite yet expanding. You could say that I'm a deep thinker. Late in high school I looked at joining the Army and simultaneously considered becoming an architect which is creative yet analytical. Eventually, I ended up in business combining my talents of analysis, sales, and management but I have always carried my personal core principals with me. I have always tried to manage in a fair way and in a sense, tried to protect those who were unjustly treated. 

 

Lets say you’re a guy or girl in college - I think this is a much better question than 'whats your major?' People take a major for money, or prestige, or because the people who were paying for their degree, their parents, made them. It may tell nothing about them. Trying asking my first date question and see if you really get to the heart of their desires and dreams. 

 

I think we know a lot about who we really are early on. As young as 5 or 10 years old we know what fascinates us and makes us happy. Sure tastes change, and ability may limit what we become, but those core curiosities never go away. A girl who wanted to be a nurse is probably a protector, a flight attendant may be an explorer at heart, a veterinarian is probably compassionate and protective. Simply asking the question "what did you want to be when you grew up" may reveal more in one question than several dates of mindless small talk. So try the question next time you have a first date. Comment below and tell me what are some great first date questions you have found.

 

Jeremy Wright is a self-described opinionated bastard. Follow him on Facebook

 

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