Fellas, I tell ya I nearly went blind today. I was walking into work, had just scanned my badge, when an extremely obese woman (easily 400+ pounds) came walking from the opposite direction. We were about two steps apart when her skirt fell off. I mean completely down to the ground. Standing there was a tremendous set of thighs decorated with some sort of tattoos. Pasty white and covered in cottage cheese. I couldn't tell you what the tattoos were. My vision blurred and I kept on walking towards the second door of our work vestibule. I heard her laughing behind me, obviously amused at this clothing mishap. I fought to keep from losing my breakfast.
Situations like this is why I beg for offices and workplaces everywhere to adopt stricter workplace dress codes. It's obvious the poor skirt was stretched well beyond it's intended purpose. I doubt it was even over her massive stomach. Thank God I did't see panties they were buried somewhere deep in her voluminous body.
On the flip side, I wonder what would happen if I lost my pants? If my khakis just fell to the floor in front of one of my female coworkers. Would I be sitting in the executive office getting fired for sexual harassment? What do you think, should I turn her in? I have plenty of proof the instance occurred since we have cameras pointed right at the door.
Jeremy Wright is a self described opinionated bastard. Follow him on Facebook.