I received a few emails about my last article: Things Every Man Should Do Once that I am going to collect here under the title of Strip Club Etiquette. Consider this advice to the male who decides to check this off of his bucket list.
I was at Spearmint Rhino recently with a couple of friends. We were siting around talking, the conversation kinda got a little deep as we were trying to clear our heads from some stuff that was going on in our lives. As the convo got a little bit deep with one of my buddies, a dancer came by and got between us asking if I wanted a lap dance. I said no thank you. About 5 minutes later she came by again and asked if I wanted a lap dance yet again. This time I looked at her and said “no, no thank you” more firmly and went back to the conversation with my friend. About five minutes later she came by a THIRD time and interrupted us. So this time I was annoyed and said “I said I'm not interested” to which she replied “emm no wonder you don’t get no play”. I thought it was rude. How should I have handled this pesky stripper?
I think you did it right by saying no thank you. Seems like she was having a slow night and trying to drum up business. After two "no's" though I would think she would get the hint. Maybe she was digging you a little, whatever, but what I would recommend is if you are having some convo at the club be sure to wander to the outskirts away from the dance floor. The presumption here is that if you are in the high traffic area, you came to play (and pay). Maybe even take the conversation outside. Without a doubt though this chick was just not worth anyone's time. She should realize that in a higher priced club men are sometimes talking business and she should respect that.
I have a friend who is pretty shy and doesn't do well with women. I'm thinking of taking him to a strip club as a surprise. Good Idea?
Hell yea! Let me tell you a story: One time me and a bunch of guys from work were talking about visiting a local gentleman's club. Call it a bonding experience. One guy we work with was pretty nervous about it. He was like your friend - the super nice guy and had never seen a woman naked. So for his 22nd birthday that was coming up, we decided that's what we were doing. He of course gave a "aww shucks I dunno" about it. But being a good sport he agreed to go. By the end of the night, he was all grins and said "when are we coming back". I replied "I told you once you see a naked girl you'll be hooked". Not long later he was dating a girl. I am confident that getting over his fear of women helped him to finally break the ice with the one he had his eye on.
Whenever I go to a club, I seem to get hounded by the girls I have no interest in: the worn out types who seem to be begging for dollars. Being a sucker, I always give them a few bucks which seems to make them keep coming back. How do I politely save my cash for the better options?
I believe that if your sitting there seeing her naked you should tip. For these women, it's their job and if your going to eyeball the goods you should pay. This isn't Walmart where you can shop for hours and buy nothing. I make it a rule to give every dancer a little something. But I hear what your saying, you don't want to blow your wad (ahem) on something that doesn't suit you. Walk away, get a drink, and mingle while the lesser talent is on stage. Come back when your girl is up and throw those dollars. She will notice and if your lucky keep you busy between sets. Or you could visit a better quality strip club. Just saying.
What's the proper tip at a strip club?
Really it depends on the club: the higher the cover charge the higher the expectation. I knew a guy who was the "Make it Rain" type throwing out $5's and sometimes $20's for attention. Yeah, the dancer's noticed but I never saw him get anymore action than the guys who were more modest in their donations. Dancers love those types of guys because he helps to feed their kids. They will show him attention so that he keeps wasting money, but any reputable club has strict rules about mingling with guests - so spending a lot of cash still means you're going home alone. That said, don't be a tight wad and not pay appropriately. Set a budget, bring it in mostly single dollar bills, and give them out to everyone you sit to watch. Keep a few tens and twenties in your roll for the lap dance if you choose to get one.
Any tips and tricks for budget minded strip club patrons?
Funny question. I can tell you a story though: One time I went to a club with two buddies. They both were going to get a lap dance. There was a super attractive girl there who I was down to get to know further, but I didn't have enough cash left for a lap dance. So I told my friends "Look, gimme your cash and let me handle this". I went up to target number one and said "look, my friend is in the Airforce (which he was) and ships out tomorrow (this was a lie). I am buying him a dance with you treat him good". She smiled and said "will do" as I handed her the $80. Then I went up to target number two repeating my scheme saying "my friend just broke up with his girlfriend and needs someone to put a smile on his face" giving her the cash my friend had supplied. After their dances, both my friends had huge grins and thanked me for my "brotherly advice".
You should realize, the dancers talk and tell each other who is spending. That's why I used my little white lie. I knew that word would get to the girl I wanted. Not long after, the girl I had my eye on approached me. She asked if I was going to get a dance. I told her no "I just paid for my two friends to get one, though I wouldn't mind spending some time with you". She asked what I had left and I said $20. She looked at me for a second and said "you seem like a nice guy, follow me". I can't complain about a lap dance with a beautiful girl for 20 bucks.
I went to a strip club, my girlfriend found out and now she is pissed. What do I do?
Well man, you screwed up. I really don't think strip clubs are a good idea when you're in a relationship. If it's as part of a bachelor party or something then maybe - but you should be upfront and honest with your girl about it. Apologize profusely and don't do it again without her being ok with it.
Jeremy Wright is a self described opinionated bastard. Follow him on Facebook.