Feminists will usually be quick to announce who they are. It's as if vocalization of their beliefs is a requirement to be part of the club, proudly proclaiming "I am a feminist" wherever they go and to whom ever will listen. So these lost causes are easy to identify and not of interest in this article. Where it gets difficult is recognizing if the woman you are dating has feminists leanings, or might succumb to the disease later - after you make a commitment to her such as marriage or having a kid.
Now she isn't going to be hanging a flag like the one above in her living room. Spotting the signs that she will become a feminist is tricky, but it's vitally important that you do so for this reason: feminists hate men. They do. They suffer from an unconscious bias (though they scream to you, a male, about your bias) which will cloud any relationship they enter, and threatens the normal development of any child you would have with her. Especially if you were to have a son. Think about it. Do you really want a son who is raised by a mother who fundamentally hates him?
In all fairness, some of that bias develops by no fault of their own. Often that bias starts as a seed planted early in life from a traumatic experience with a male figure whom they trusted, and who failed to display a proper portrait of masculinity. Basically, a man who was paramount to developing an understanding of masculinity and who failed to meet the expectation. This misrepresentation can derive from a poor father figure (daddy issues) who was perhaps abusive, left the family, or was all together absent. Often when the father is absent, someone like a brother or family member serves as the male role model. Even a teacher or boyfriend can plant the seed for later feminist beliefs.
So men must recognize these warning signs of feminism to avoid future heartache and wasted time. What I have compiled is a list, some obvious, some not so obvious, that should give you a cause for alarm. If you spot any of these behaviors it's important to quickly make an evaluation of the relationship you are in and decide if this is indeed the woman you want to commit to.
A big red flag for a spotting a future feminist, or a current one, is having predominately gay friends. All of us know someone who is gay, but if a woman surrounds herself with gay people while straying from heterosexual friends, she is already half way to becoming a feminist. This is an obvious sign that she places no value on masculinity and probably holds it in quite low regard. She is avoiding men, but still looking to surround herself with what she perceives as acceptable male qualities displayed by these gay man.
Perhaps they are in exceptional physical shape, presenting a pseudo alpha male appearance, or share similar interests to her such as "art and culture" which she will state "typical men" have no interest in. That's just a poorly masked excuse to avoid actual heterosexual males. She may even say things like "they don't hit on me" which is when you should ask the question of why would a single, heterosexual, feminine woman not want men to hit on her if she is seeking a relationship?
Even though she has a checklist of acceptable or ideal male characteristics, you are not allowed to find traditional female characteristics appealing. Truly heterosexual and feminine women understand that men are attracted to long hair. Along with breasts, it's probably the most obvious sign of femininity, and it's often the first thing a man notices about a woman. So why would any non feminist woman chop off one of the predominate attractors for male attention? Because she doesn't want male attention. So if you see a woman experimenting with significantly shorter hair styles, especially if she tries the current fad of shaving the sides of her head like a man, consider yourself warned.
I personally find short hair to be one of the biggest turn offs in a woman. Long hair is meant to be pulled during sex, a way to display dominance over a woman. If she cuts it off it is a sign that she doesn't want you, or any man, to have control over or dominate her. This is why the current feminist movement perpetuates the idea of body positivity and fat acceptance, encouraging body types which usually do not attract male attention. Feminists encourage women to defeminize themselves by displaying typical male hairstyles and wearing boyish clothing, and will attack women who refuse to bow to feminist pressure to be more masculine.
Feminists will display other less obvious signals that you should not view them as the potential mother to your children. One red flag I have noticed is that feminists will often be overly enthusiastic about pets, but not children. This is odd because women have a natural desire to be a mother and nurture a child. Feminism makes it unacceptable to assume a traditional gender role, and therefore having a committed relationship with a man and staying home to care for children would be considered submissive to male dominance.
Despite the denial, even a feminist or lesbian woman feels the innate urge to be a mother which must be satisfied some how. That's why these women often obsess over animals like dogs and cats who provide them some of the feelings of motherhood without the commitment. They will often treat them like small children, dressing them and talking baby talk, buying expensive pet foods, etc. Menopausal women who recognize that their fertility window has passed often do this as well to fulfill the nurturing instinct, but if you see this in a young, fertile, and attractive female she may be denying or avoiding her role in traditional heterosexual relationships.
A feminist will act markedly different towards men and women in social situations. A person who sees the opposite sex as an equal will treat them as such. Rational people know that men and women are equal but different, born with unique capabilities best optimized according what they do best. That means women and their nurturing instinct function best as mothers or care takers of the home. Men with their desire to dominate and conquer function best as head of a household or authority figure.
A feminist does not get this. She may repeatedly display male competitiveness in her career or personal pursuits; if beaten by a woman a feminist is able to accept the defeat because it was by someone she views as an "equal", but when beaten by a man will accuse him of cheating or having a physical advantage. In the workplace she will say he got the job "because he is a man". It doesn't matter how equal the terms of the contest, to a feminist you will always have an unfair advantage and she will blame her failure on sexual bias rather than sexual difference.
A future feminist will also display a Jekyll & Hyde personality, alternating quickly between sexy and irresistible to win you over, then switching to angry, distant, and non sexual to push you away. She wants you to be sexually aroused by her, yet despises you for viewing her as a sexual object. At the heart of this behavior is her anger towards men which she will vent on you passively aggressively. She will take verbal digs at you around people you hold valuable, such as family and friends, in an effort to hurt you and put you down.
Subconsciously, she is lashing out at and getting revenge on the male figure who wronged her, and you will be the punching bag for this unresolved anger. This will not stop until she breaks you, then after you end the relationship she will tell everyone she knows that you were "not a real man" who could handle a "real woman". This is a popular meme on Facebook now, shared and re-posted by lonely women who failed to submit to their husband as head of the household. As a result, they are usually angry and bitter singles who try to console themselves with the lie that they are "strong independent women" rather than admit they were women which men did not want.
Furthermore in social situations, she will prioritize time with females but view commitments to men as fluid. In other words, she may do things like always run late when meeting you for a date, yet some how manages to arrive early for nights out with the girls, often at the expense of time with you. This will often lead to broken dates or appointments with men, lies about why she was unable to keep the appointment, and accusations that you don't trust her when you notice the holes in her cover story.
Despite her own broken promises, she will strictly hold you to your word and castigate you for any failure to meet her expectations. This behavior will again manifest itself in a masculine way, seeking control of your life by demanding you keep her informed of every minute of your schedule and whereabouts, yet she will remain aloof and non-descriptive of her own actions.
A feminist will also devise tests which you can never pass. It may be asking you to help her with something when she knows you have to work, or planning something when she knows you have another commitment. When you don't bow to her whimsical needs first, she will say that you let her down or failed her. This statement has nothing to do with you, it's directed at the failed male role model which she holds anger towards and has yet to recognize or confront.
These woman have an unrealistic expectation of the men in their lives. Since the role model failed them, they have developed a strict code by which men must act in order to warrant their favor. The problem is that you can never reach this level of perfection. Look at the most popular memes and women's articles online today. The Perfect Man is in top notch physical shape and earns a high salary while having time to cater to her needs, and often, perform household duties like caring for the children and cleaning the house for her. This is while she spends her days having lunches with the girls, getting her nails done and taking the pet for grooming (remember above), watching reality TV, and then finishing off with a girls night out.
Feminists always feel the need to have the last word in an argument. They will often keep fueling an argument until they feel they have stung you as many times as they can with criticisms and expectations you have failed to meet. This passive aggressive behavior continues because though she needs to voice her wants and expectations of you, she is mentally aware of your masculinity and natural dominant role. She doesn't quite have the courage to normally carry a conversation and relies on these snide remarks and comments to knock you down a level, the level she subconsciously feels that she sits at.
A feminist will use sex as control. Again, she hates that you desire her sexually, but enjoys the power she holds over you with her sexuality. Though she has a deep anger towards men, she intuitively understands the power of sex and will restrict access to it to obtain what she wants. Often, a closet feminist will deny men sex, then turn around and accuse them of checking out other women or grow angry that her significant other views pornography. She will then blame him for not being able to control his urges, perhaps calling him a "typical man", and use this as evidence of wanting to cheat on her - thus giving her reason to withhold sex.
A heterosexual, feminine, and confident woman would either leave her man "empty" or even feel somewhat relieved that he found an outlet which allowed him to remain faithful when she was unable to provide the release. Think about it. I would rather find my girlfriend masturbating than find her in bed with another man. Sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship which helps solidify the male-female bond. A feminist will vilify sex and accuse you of not respecting her when wanting it. Again, passive aggressive behavior.
She may have difficulty with commitment and monogamy. Despite her accusations that you cannot control your urges, she will be the one with a history of returning to ex-boyfriends, even seeing or having sex with several men in a short period of time. This is because she feels power over men by being able to get them to return to her after a relationship has ended. Though they are of no value to her, these men feed her ego and desire for dominance over men. It also fulfills her subconscious need to have the failed male figure in her past return to her, thus redeeming her.
By being able to make a male return, she frees herself as the cause of his leaving, effectively deflecting the root cause onto the men in her life rather than admit that she herself is the reason for the relationship failure. When she has them in the palm of her hand, she will then cut them off. Sometimes she will even accept an engagement ring before leaving him at the alter, or allow her suitor to lavish her with gifts before friend-zoning him and stating that she doesn't have the "same feelings" towards you.
Despite her deep understanding of sexuality and her own sexual power, she will have sexual hang ups and only be concerned with her own pleasure. She may demand oral gratification, yet act in disgust upon your request to return the favor. This is because she wants you to be submissive to her yet refuses to be submissive to you. That would be giving power to a male, which she will never do.
If she does return the favor, she will act as if she did you a favor and use sex in return for other things, effectively prostituting herself when she asks for money or trinkets - convincing you to buy them after having sex or implying that you will receive sex for her favors. Sometimes, a feminist will insist on sexual positions where she does not need to look at you, such as with cunnilingus, or doggy style sex. While straight, feminine women enjoy these positions as well, they will insist on missionary and other forward facing, eye contact centered sexual positions because women feed off of the emotional connection with a partner. Feminists do not form or want this non sexual exchange.
That's why quite often women who tend towards feminism will have difficulty reaching orgasm. They will not allow this passionate interchange with a male because it means they are exposed and open, vulnerable to a man. Feminine women need this connection and passion to achieve orgasm. Though this is her own internal issue, she will place blame on you and imply you are not a competent lover - further continuing her trend of belittling and emasculating men. Often her inability to reach orgasm occurs because she has developed an unrealistic phallic expectation through the use of excessively large dildos, or expects quick and immediate satisfaction as provided by a vibrator. She has created an unobtainable view of masculinity which you can never fulfill, effectively objectifying you - but hating you for doing the same to her.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but rather the most obvious and tell tale signs for spotting a future feminist. I will continue to expand on this topic of radical feminism in future posts, but for now I have a few other topics I want to write on so will cut this one short. If you can think of any other feminist red flags, please comment below. I value your opinion even if you disagree with me (unlike a feminist).
Jeremy Wright is a self described opinionated bastard. Follow him on Facebook.