Not Sexy: Resting Bitch Face

May 7, 2017

 

We are not sure where the trend towards Resting Bitch Face originated. Maybe a woman somewhere developed the technique as an attempt to fight wrinkle formation, or maybe it was a byproduct of a bad method acting school who trained their students to display their internal disdain for others through facial expressions in lieu of words. Either way it's completely Not Sexy.

 

The condition appears to have been around for sometime now, but has recently come to public light as more and more celebrities spread the disease to the common woman. Even celebrity men are starting to wear the ugly mask. As a result of that Hollywood endorsement, RBF has grown in social media references as the subject of countless Facebook memes. BDSC conducted an exhaustive study into the phenomena and determined the original source of Resting Bitch Face: the Mona Lisa.

 

 

Public concern for Resting Bitch Face has even warranted a scientific investigation. Using complex facial recognition software, the ultimate conclusion was that there may be a genetic factor but researchers failed to pinpoint a source of the sour puss face. The group who ran the study, Nolvus Consulting, is so concerned with the spread of the disease that they have offered to analyze your personal picture to see if you may be suffering from the affliction, or are at risk in the future.

 

Urban Dictionary defines RBF as "a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to". That is a pretty kind description because when a woman displays RBF, it's obvious that your night will go to shit. You are simply not allowed to enjoy yourself since she isn't. Usually, she starts out with a loud sigh to alert you that she is unhappy. Failing to respond to her demands for attention, she begins the transformation into a bitch. Her face goes blank, a slight scowl develops on her brow, and the lips draw tight, all to further warn you that she is not getting her way. In some cases you may see her pointing to her princess crown that you have failed to properly bow to.

 

I first witnessed this transformation years ago, though the condition had not yet developed a name. I was on a hike with two girls. One down to earth and fun, the other a prissy type who decided to wear her "good shoes" to hike. As we crossed a shallow creek maybe three inches deep, the prissy one got her shoes wet. A loud sigh echoed through the woods then she promptly proclaimed "I WANT TO GO HOME". I said, "we will soon, we're almost finished" to which she responded by loudly demanding "NOW!" then throwing a temper tantrum. Let me just say that politely requesting a woman who has transformed into Resting Bitch Face mode to relax is not an appropriate response. Your only option is to turn around and run. Once home, promptly delete her number. She simply isn't wifey material.

 

If you are considering approaching a Resting Bitch Face, reconsider. These women do not want to be approached. It's nothing about you. They just feel content to be bitches. Do not try to be a hero and make her laugh or bring some joy to her life. You cannot meet her ideals or satisfy her princess demands. There are plenty of fish in the sea my friend.

 

 

Kristen Stewart may be the poster child for RBF, but other female celebrities like Anna Kendrick, Katie Holmes, Rhihanna, and even men like Jeremy Renner and...cough...Kanye West tend to display RBF. In Kanye's case, it may be a result of exposure to his Resting Bitch Face wife Kim Kardashian.

 

 

We care about our readers, and to prevent you from witnessing the grotesque and Not Sexy transformation into RBF, we have developed the following checklist of 5 warning signs:

 

1. In an effort to show compassion, you ask her if she is ok and she responds "I'm Fine."

2. You tell a joke or smile in an attempt to flirt and she just stares at you, she is a RBF.

3. If her selfies look like a mug shot or Driver License photo, she is a RBF.

4. She is old enough to have wrinkles, yet somehow, she doesn't. RBF.

5. Random strangers ask her if she is ok or needs a hug, accuse her of being judgmental without have ever spoken to her, apologize that the party is so boring, or compare her to a cat - she is a RBF. 

 

You have been warned.

 

 

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